


How to hide your job from the Avengers (by Peter Parker)

by PleaseDontFindThisMom



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack-ish, Dancer Peter Parker, Gen, Mentions of Stalking, Team as Family, that doesn't come up that well but
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:42:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27135398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PleaseDontFindThisMom/pseuds/PleaseDontFindThisMom
Summary: Peter is not good at lying and Avengers are nosy.So it's a wonder how Peter could hide being a stripped from them.
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Peter Parker, Clint Barton & Peter Parker, James "Bucky" Barnes & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Avengers Team, Peter Parker & James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Peter Parker & Natasha Romanov, Peter Parker & Sam Wilson, Peter Parker & Steve Rogers, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Vision, Wanda Maximoff & Peter Parker
Comments: 16
Kudos: 269





	How to hide your job from the Avengers (by Peter Parker)

1\. Admit that there’s no way you can hide your new job from everyone.

Within Avengers there was more than one person who could find out about Peter’s new job; spies, former assassins, geniuses. But among all the members there was only one who Peter knew he couldn’t hide his job from even if he tried.

Natasha.

Not because she was better than the others but because she liked to stay on top of things, know what is going on - information is a weapon after all. And she was the only person who wouldn’t have to have strong suspicion there was something going on before digging in. 

So Peter did what anyone else would in his shoes and went to confront Natasha just one week after accepting and starting his new job.

Taking a deep breath Peter knocked on her room’s door. He tried to look confident when the red head opened the door, meeting her eyes dead on. “Natasha, there’s something I want to talk to you about.”

When smirk made it’s way onto Natasha’s face Peter felt like bailing but followed her into the room at her beckoning. Taking a seat on the bed as Natasha took the only chair in the room Peter became more and more nervous as the smirk stayed on her face.

“Is this about your new job?”

Peter’s brain blue screened for a moment as Natasha’s words sunk in. “You- you know about that?” Raising her shoulder non committedly Natasha looked out of the window. 

“Nothing specific. Just that it’s downtown and that you are embarrassed about it. It’s also good money apparently.” Natasha turned to face Peter again. “Mind telling me what it is exactly? I would have found out soon anyway so you could save me the trouble.”

Deep breath. This was it. “I got a job as a stripper.”

Natasha blinked, opened her mouth and then blinked again. “You don’t strike me as the type who could do that in the long run,” she comments eventually.

Peter looked at anything but her. “Yeah, a friend's acquaintance met me and told me I was the right type, bodywise mostly. I accepted the offer just a week ago, have worked there four nights now. It’s-” Peter finally looked at Natasha. He had expected disgust, confusion or even irritation, but she looked merely curious. “It’s surprisingly fun. I have always liked dancing and yeah, dancing around the pole is not exactly the same and some of the customers are real creeps but it’s not too bad. And like you said if you get the right clientele you can get good money.”

Natasha nodded. Composed, if only on the outside, she reached for Peter’s shoulder to squeeze it reassuringly. “I am definitely not saying that is the ideal job for anyone, but if you are sure about working there you can do it. Just- let me run some background checks to the place, okay?” Peter smiled, relieved. Natasha’s approval was the most important thing but the place was definitely not the most high end and he couldn’t do a proper background check himself so Natasha’s request was more than appreciated.

“That sounds good Aunt Nat. There’s also one more thing I wanted to ask?” Another reassuring squeeze eased Peter further. “I really don’t want others to know so could you maybe not tell them?”

Natasha raised one of her perfectly trimmed eyebrows. “You can’t keep it secret for long, they will find out about it eventually.” Peter sighed.

“I know. But I would like to work for a bit at least so that I can be more, well, confident about where I work when they find out about it. And experience is the easiest way to get that.”

To Peter’s delight Natasha agreed to keep it under wraps for then. She even offered to cover up for him every now and then when he was working there.

Her background check didn’t come up completely clean, but then again, she could just clean it up herself.

So she did.

2\. Convince the idiotic dumbass who doesn’t know how to KNOCK into silence

Sam had - has - bad habit of not knocking. Sometimes it pays up, like when he found Bucky stuck in his shirt. Sometimes it doesn’t exactly pay up, like when he found Peter in garter belt, stockings and balck lingerie.

“Hey Pete, Tony’s asking foooo-” Sam tried to exit the room as soon as he spotted Peter but the spiderling was faster. Pulling the taller male completely inside the room and slamming the door close behind him was a 100% justified reaction.

“Sam, what the fuck are you doing here?” he murmured into Sam’s ear as he slammed the man against the door.

Now, people don’t usually look threatening when clad in only something that definitely belongs in cliche porn, but Peter looked downright murderous. And the position itself would probably have been very enjoyable what with attractive man pressing so close to Sam in only skimpy lingerie and warm breath brushing against his neck and ear but with Peter’s cold expression and hands - super strong hands that could totally rip Sam in half - caging him between him and the door, Sam didn’t feel all that good.

“Yeah, so Tony asked me to get you to come to the lab, something about Mark something I don’t know so I just came to tell you that and I didn’t know you wouldn’t be decent and just saying that with Cap and Nat and Clint and Buck there’s no way you can sleep with someone in the tower without someone finding out so maybe-” he only stopped rambling when Peter pressed his hand against his mouth. He only allowed himself to breath when the younger male finally stepped back, sitting on the bed.

Now, for Peter, which is worse; Sam knowing he was a stripper or that he was sleeping with someone? He could try to lie his way out of this with some third story but his success was less than unlikely.

Sam walked hesitantly up to the bed and sat next to Peter. “Hey, you good? You are looking kinda, gloomy.” Peter turned to look Sam in the eyes. Brown eyes met and Peter went over his options again.

First of all, he wasn’t sure he wanted Sam to think he was sleeping with someone when he wasn’t. Secondly, he didn’t have a name to give and with his lying abilities he couldn’t make up a person so he would have to say he was sleeping around or with someone he didn’t actually know - both even worse than Sam knowing the truth.

Sigh.

“I am not sleeping with anyone.” Sam raised his eyebrows, frowning. 

“Why the fancy get up then?” Peter did his best to maintain eye contact even if he really wanted to bury his head deep into sand, preferably forever.

“I, got a job. As a stripper. My boss thought I could use something like this. Not, like, I wouldn’t dress only in these but yeah.” Peter could barely hear Sam’s breaths, which was worrying.

After almost ten seconds Sam refound his voice. “So, stripper. Huh. Definitely did not expect. Does- does Tony know?” Peter shot up, which was sudden enough movement to make Sam fall off the bed.

“NO, no, no, definitely doesn’t know and you can’t tell. Him. Or anyone else.” Sam didn’t bother standing up, instead opting to sit cross legged on the floor.

“Why? I mean, Tony won’t be happy but I, well. Yeah. I don’t know how he will react actually.” Peter lowered down, crouching in front of Sam.

“Exactly. So you can’t tell anyone. Aaaaanyone. Please?” Summoning his best puppy eyes Peter pouted slightly, hoping to look small, helpless and innocent enough to seem helpless. The lingerie didn’t help with that but hopefully his natural charm would be enough.

“I don’t know Pete, this is a pretty big thing…” Sam’s voice got more quiet as he spoke, not really wanting to tell others if Peter didn’t want so but feeling like this was the kind of thing you didn’t keep secret.

“It wouldn’t be forever, they will find out eventually anyway. Just keep quiet until then, please?” Leaning towards Sam was probably dirty technique, especially when Sam had to lean back to keep them from touching.

“Okay okay, just, tell them at some point? It won’t be so bad, you will see.” Peter smiled in relief.

“Yeah, but I would like to have more experience and work hours under my belt before someone questions it too badly, you know?” Peter rose back up and offered his hand to help Sam up too. The other male took the hand, thankful.

“I suppose I do understand.”

3\. Realise that Friday definitely knows and you need help with keeping her silent

“Vision, I need a pretty big favor?”

Vision raised his eyes from the book he was reading to see Peter standing in his doorway. With the way the boy was squirming and wiggling his feet Vision could tell he was pretty nervous and put the book down immediately, raising up.

“Of course Peter. What do you need?” 

Peter stepped into Vision’s room, closing the door. 

“So, I got a new job.” Vision’s eyes widen. In a matter of seconds he searches Friday’s files for information, finding it neatly written in Peter’s file.

“I didn’t know you worked as a stripper.” Peter froze up before rolling his eyes. With the way he was connected to Friday there’s no way he wouldn’t find out when Friday knew. 

“Yeah. I kinda wanted to keep people from finding out but forgot about Friday. So, I need you to help me to get Friday from keeping quiet.” Vision understood where Peter was coming from but was surprised he had asked for his help.

“I don’t know if that’s possible.” Peter stepped closer, giving his best pleading look.

“Please? I can’t do it alone but with your help we could take the info of my file and keep Friday from re-adding it. Others will find out about it at some point but I need more time. We just need to get Friday from spilling the beans for now?”

Vision felt complicated. It didn’t feel right to mess around with Friday in such a way but what Peter was suggesting wasn’t too disastrous and wouldn’t endanger anyone. In the end Peter’s pleading and puppy dog eyes won.

“Okay, I will help you. Do you want to do it right now?” Peter did a silent victory whoop.

“Yeah. Do you have a computer here or are we gonna use mine?” Instead of answering Vision walked up to his cabinet and took his (unused) computer from there. Sitting with Peter on the bed they got to work.

“Okay so first we work around this…”

“Make sure to delete the log there…”

“Vis could you maybe bypass that...”

“Okay so just change those lines there…”

“Done! Thanks Vision, you are the best!” Vision smiled as the boy tackled him in a bone crunching (or circuit board crunching) hug. 

4\. Convince another idiot from spilling the beans after he stalks you

Bucky took Peter’s safety very seriously and Peter knew that. Normally he didn’t have a problem with it either but right now, with the soldier staring him down in his own room, he felt just a little bitter. It was totally unfair that he monitored his location so often.

“Buck, I know my job is less than ideal from safety point of view-”

“Less than ideal? Even if the cliente there is squeaky clean right now that job has numerous possibilities to endanger you! With you there on the stage in so little clothing it’s too easy to surprise and attack you, not to even mention the lax security and probably already leaked information about you!”

Peter sighed. Natasha had already taken care of most of that, but Buck didn’t need to know she knew - no need for the other to know that the place had been even more dangerous at the beginning. And he did have the point about Peter being in a ‘vulnerable’ position on that stage and the building’s security was a joke and granted, the employee information would probably get leaked at some point.

Bucky was growing more and more annoyed by the second. Not only had Peter worked at the club for weeks already (maybe even months!) and he had had no idea, he was completely overlooking all these security issues. Scoffing, Bucky raised Peter’s chin with his hand so that the boy would look him in the eyes.

“Peter, I really don’t want you working there. BUT” Bucky raised his voice when it looked like Peter might interrupt him “if you want to work there, I shouldn’t stop you. Just, maybe let me take some precautions?”

Peter relaxed, collapsing on the bed. He had expected Bucky to make him stop working (when he had finally started to really enjoy it too) and he really valued the former assassins opinion so it was nice to have him in his corner. And his request to make it safer was really fair and doable - even if that meant he would find out Natasha knew too. Oh well.

“Nat knows too and she has taken measures to keep me safe too, so maybe work together with her or something,” he said finally when Bucky was starting to look concerned. The older male nodded.

“I suspected she would.” When he turned to leave the room Peter shot up and gripped his sleeve.

“You can’t tell anyone else about this, okay? Just Natasha knows so keep it that way.” Bucky sighed, rubbed his face for a moment, groaned and finally flashed a tired smile before nodding and leaving. Peter felt  ~~ a lot ~~ a bit smug when his blatant lie went through. 

5\. Blackmail third idiot from telling on you after he stalks you too

Bucky had gone over and beyond to keep track of Peter’s location and find out about his job. Clint was just lucky enough to hear their talk up from the vent.

When he strolled into Peter’s room later that evening, he wasn’t sure what to do. He wanted to address that he knew about his job also since keeping it secret seemed like such a big deal, but he also mourned the loss of ideal blackmail material. Well, sometimes you gotta do the right thing.

“Hey Peter, you there?” Peter answered the door after the third knock. Clint walked in without invite and took a seat on the bed.

“Sure, welcome in,” Peter muttered before closing the door and taking a seat on the floor. “So what’s up Clint?”

Clint could have made some horrendous joke, but decided to just cut the chase. “So I heard you and Bucky talking.” Peter’s eyes grew the size of a plate - metaphorically speaking - and he seemed to stop breathing. Clint tried not to grin.

“So, I was thinking, ‘what should I do with this information’, you know?” Clint enjoyed the growing panic on the boy’s face. Or he had enjoyed it before the part spider jumped up and leaned over him, making him fall down on the bed.

“Clint, you remember what happened three weeks ago with Natasha’s green hoodie, Tony’s coffee machine and some very poorly thrown spoons?” Clint paled. He thought no one knew about that incident. Peter grinned in satisfaction.

“That’s what I thought. So let’s make a deal: I don’t tell anyone about that one if you keep your mouth shut about this one, ‘kay?” Wow, others were growing on him if this is how well he pulled threats off now. 

Clint seemed to think about it for a moment. “Yeah, sounds fair.” His voice was only a little higher than normal. Coughing, he got it back down. “Am I allowed to talk about it with Bucky and Natasha thought?”

Peter thought about it. The more people knew people knew the bigger risk more people would find out so- “No. Don’t talk about it with them. You knowing should be our secret, and ours alone.”

6\. Remember that mind reading is a thing and take care of the mind reader 

Honestly, Peter forgot Wanda could even read minds for a hot sec. Easy mistake to make since she didn’t do it often, especially with her friends, and also because it had never before been an issue.

Granted, Wanda was trying to find out what caused Peter’s panic attack and Peter panicked and thought ‘omg, what if Wanda finds out about me being a stripper’ and then Wanda could easily pick up his memories from work.

So yeah. That one was actually on Peter.

Wanda was by far the least awkward about the whole thing.

“Do you get tipped well?”

“What are the clients like?”

“Do you dress up like they do in the movies?”

“Do people really pay to have you in private rooms?”

So yeah. Again.

Wanda was also the most understanding and ready to keep it secret. She understood that telling your kinda-father-but-not-really-father that you dance in skimpy clothing just to take even more of it off and dance more for questionable audience, out of which some may even jerk off to it, then dance on their laps to make them come in their pants and get bills stuck into his pants or whatever you’re wearing at the moment might be awkward.

Her words, not his.

“It would be super cool if you wouldn’t tell anyone else either, is that okay?” Wanda just smiled and hugged him, reassuring that she would take his secret to the grave.

“But if they do find out you better make sure I’m there to see it go down.”

Which was a very fair request in Peter’s opinion.

7\. Deal with it when someone shows up at your work

Seeing Rhodey at a strip club was weird enough.

Seeing Rhodey at a strip club when you are dancing on the stage inside a fake cage is even weirder.

Peter had almost fallen over and broken his neck when he noticed Rhodey, sitting at a far end table, sipping what appeared to be beer. Luckily for him - and his paycheck - he didn’t but instead managed to dance his number to the end. After that he did make his way hastily to Rhodey, who was very pointedly not looking at him.

Might have been because of the booty shorts or the glitter.

“Rhodey, what are you doing here?” Peter stuttered around Rhodey’s seat to appear as if he had asked for his ‘services’. The man was still not looking at him.

“Here at the club or in New York?” Peter leaned over from his side, moving his hips to the music while they talked. Rhodey was still not looking at him.

“Both.” Rhodey didn’t look over as Peter leaned close to him, still moving in time with the music. Damn his manager who didn’t want his employees to sit around having talks with their friends.

Actually a really normal manager.

“I got some time off and decided to surprise you all. Asked Friday beforehand where everyone was and she told me you were at this address. Since this was on the way to the tower I wanted to surprise you first.” Rhodey manages to flash an awkward smile to Peter’s direction. “Instead you surprised me.” 

Peter rolled his eyes, now straddling Rhodey lap without touching the man. The older male was still avoiding eye contact, instead playing eye games with the ceiling.

“So, you have any questions?” Peter asks after a short silence. Better get it over with. Rhodey laughs.

“Oh, so many. But for now some, overall summary can do.” Peter cracked a small smile. He had gotten practice with those already.

“A friend's acquaintance offered me the job and I took it. That’s pretty much all there is to it. Also, no one else knows” expect for the six people who do know “so if you could remain from telling anyone that would be nice.”

Rhodey actually turned to look at Peter then. Being so close to the man and having eye contact was tad too much for Peter and he stepped away from the man, opting for circling around his seat again, hands running down the others arms. Rhodey was really tense to the touch.

“No one? How? How did you keep this a secret for… Actually I have no idea how long but how?” Think fast Peter.

“Okay, so Vision knows. He helped me to keep Friday from spilling the beans.” Was Peter actually getting better at lying?

Rhodey leaned further into his seat. “...I suppose that makes sense. Since you don’t live in the tower taking the time to be here isn’t suspicious either, no?”

Peter nodded. “Yeah. May thinks I’m over at some friends, at tower or patrolling when I’m here.”

Rhodey looked him in the eyes again, making Peter curse slightly on the inside. Rhodey, when someone is pretending to give you lap dance so that you could have conversation during their work hours you don’t just make eye contacts, that makes it weird damn it!

“May doesn’t know either?” Wincing slightly Peter turned to face the man fully in effort to hide his pleading face from any onlookers.

“She doesn’t. But don’t worry, I will tell at some point. I just- I want to feel better about working here myself before telling others, you know? I have worked here for a while already so it’s going to happen soon probably.”

Rhodye, still maintaining the cursed eye contact, frowned. “Are you sure you shouldn’t tell as soon as possible? Keeping secrets like this hurts relationships between people in the long run.”

Peter raised his eyebrows. “I am eighteen, I should have the freedom to work here if I so please. But you know as well as I do that May nor Tony would accept it. But if I tell them when I’m already further along instead of just starting it’s easier to talk them over.”

Rhodey closed his eyes, thinking. He knew Tony and Peter was right, the man wouldn’t like him working there. And Peter was also right about the freedom he should have when choosing his job and how it would be easier to maintain it if he had worked for a longer time before telling Tony. Or May.

“Okay, I won’t tell. Take your time.” Peter’s face split into a bright smile.

“Thanks Uncle Rhodey.”

8\. Realize that with seven people knowing someone is going to spill something

“Peter, I heard about your new job.”

Peter, having just taken a sip of his hot cocoa, almost choked on the drink. Coughing, through water stained eyes he turns to look at the Captain.

“My- my job?” Steve looks uncomfortable, if the way he is switching the weight from one foot to another and the elevated pulse were anything to go by.

“Yes. Wanda mentioned that you were on your shift yesterday and I was left wondering when you even started working and where. She refused to tell and ordered me to ask from you and only from you.” 

Peter wanted to be mad at Wanda but with seven people knowing and living in close quarters with the people who didn’t know it was only a matter of time someone slipped up. And at least Wanda had had the decency to let Peter tell the man himself. 

Putting his cup down Peter turned to face Steve fully. There was no one else present but he didn’t want to risk- come to think about it only Bruce and Tony didn’t know in addition to Steve and both were extremely unlikely to be found anywhere else but their labs at the moment. Small blessings.

Now, the big question: tell the truth or lie?

Had this question been asked from Peter some months ago when he was just starting he would have tried to lie his ass off but right now, with almost everyone already knowing and not fearing Steve’s reaction the most the truth was the one he opted for.

“I actually took a job as a stripper downtown.” Steve tilted his head as if he was confused by what he heard. He went through the stages of opening his mouth, shutting it, looking around the room, staring intently at Peter and eventually settled on burying his face into his hands.

“Stripper?”

“Yeah.”

“How long?”

“I don’t know exactly… Like three and half months or something.”

Steve sighed.

“Well at least now I get why you didn’t tell us.” Peter chuckled at that, which was a surprising reaction in itself. You would think he would be much more scared about people finding out about the job but apparently he was past that phase.

“Yeah. If you could remain from telling anyone else either? I’m thinking I could tell Tony when I hit five months but I’m not ready for it yet.”

Steve finally took his hands off his face, managing to muster a smile. “Yeah, if you are sure that is the way to go. But tell me, is this job safe? I’m not terribly well informed about this but I have heard some stories.” It was Peter’s turn to tilt his head.

“Well, it’s not ideal but it’s safe enough. I did like a ton of background research and took steps to ensure my safety.” Well Natasha and Bucky (and Vision if he was being exact) did but Steve didn’t need to know that. 

Steve crossed his hands, nodding slowly and taking a seat across from Peter. “Okay, then I won’t tell. But you have to promise you will tell when five months are up, okay?”

9\. One of your cover up lies crashes and burns so salvage that shit

Peter didn’t lie much. That was mostly because he sucked at it (even if he was becoming better with all the practice he was getting) so when he did lie, more often than not, he would get caught and it wouldn’t be worth it.

Like when he told Bruce he was with May and then May called asking how he was doing.

Thought in Peter’s defence May called at eight PM like who even does that.

“Peter, would you mind explaining why you weren’t with your Aunt when you explicitly told me you were going to spend the whole evening with her?”

Peter was sweating, squirming around in his chair. Bruce hadn’t told anyone else about his lie (thank whatever divine being there is above us for small mercies) but that didn’t make Peter feel any better at the moment. He hated lying to Bruce and even more when the man caught him doing it.

Bruce just sat there, expression non faltering. He had found out that the best way to make Peter talk was to state your question and wait until he cracks.

“I have a part time job,” the boy eventually blurts out, then immediately looks horrified. Bruce just nods, a small movement of head. 

“And why didn’t you tell anyone about your job?”

Silence.

“Because it’s embarrassing and you would make me stop it.”

Bruce repeats his small nod. They are progressing.

“Why is that?”

Silence.

Silence.

“Because I’m a stripper.”

Bruce repeats the nod once again, out of reflex. Stripper. Huh. He let’s the silence go on.

“And I thought that Tony or someone else would make me stop and it’s kinda embarrassing.”

Bruce sits up straighter. Peter leans back, biting his lip. Bruce notes that it’s just seconds away from bleeding.

“Well, for what it’s worth I didn’t maybe expect this” opposite of it in fact “and I’m not overjoyed with this, mostly because of the lying, but I can accept it.” Peter’s jaw goes slack and there’s something akin to hope to be seen in his eyes.

“And I am not that mad. The lying hurts but I can see why you would do so” it’s very easy to imagine why one would be nervous to tell his family they have taken up stripping as a job “and as long as you are honest from now-”

“NO.” Bruce jumps a little, feels the shock in the back of his mind with Peter’s sudden outburst. The teen seems embarrassed with the shout, if the blood rising to his cheeks is anything to go by, but doesn’t falter.

“I don’t want Tony to know yet. I promised to tell in three weeks anyways and yeah.” The way Peter’s staring into Bruce’s eyes is slightly unnerving but he does his best to not turn away.

Peter’s shaking in his seat and Bruce feels kinda bad. And three weeks isn’t that long.

“Okay, if you are going to tell in three weeks, I can wait that long. Who else knows?” 

Think fast Peter.

“Steve. And Wanda. And Nat. But Steve and Wanda don’t know that Natasha knows so maybe don’t tell them. Or other way around. Actually, maybe don’t talk about it at all.” Well that was sharing too much Peter, what happened to ‘keeping people who know other people know’ to minimum?

Bruce nods and the heavy load on Peter’s shoulders disappears once again.

10\. Turns out that your life sucks and everyone is gonna find out without your consent anyway

After everything is said and done, you should just give Peter kudos for managing to hide it for four months and two weeks.

Well, to be honest, everyone except Tony found out earlier but that’s not the point.

The point is that Wade Wilson is an asshole.

Everyone was in a meeting, all eleven who lived in the tower that is, when Peter’s phone rang. Or rather his phone rang in his room and Friday told Peter that it was ringing.

“Peter, Wade is trying to call you, he’s been calling for ten minutes straight by now. Would you like to answer him?”

Now, technically the meetings were ‘no-calls’ zones but with all the important calls and Tony’s want to get away from them whenever possible meetings were actually all calls accepted zones. Funny that.

Peter was about to decline when Tony spoke up.

“Wade? As in Wade Wilson? As in Deadpool?” Peter met his mentor/father figure’s stare head on.

“Yeah, that Wade.” Tony hummed in annoyance. Steve had sat down, knowing that he wouldn’t get to resume the meeting for a while (and inviting the disturbance since he was really not enjoying the meetings himself that much either).

“Why would he possibly be calling you? Or have your number for that matter?” Now everyone else was staring as well. No one particularly liked Peter’s friendship with the mercenary.

“I don’t know. New Mexican place. Pigeon. New weapon. Weasel got stuck inside his bathroom again. I don’t know, he’s kinda unpredictable.” Peter answers honestly. Tony’s expression was anything but pleased.

“Well, why don’t you answer then?”

The staring match lasts all but three seconds before Peter accepts the call.

“Friday, answer. And tell Wade that he’s on speakerphone with the Avengers.”

The call is connected to the speakers in the room.

“Petey-pie! And all the other important people as well I guess. Not as important people. People. Anyhow, you remember that creep from months ago, Gale or Greg or something? The one that tried to follow you home? So guess what? I found him. Yeah, thank me later. Or actually since meeting me, Bea and Arthur he might have switched clubs and you might have lost a regular so maybe no thanks. But thanks would be nice, it was really annoying to deal with that bottom-of-horse-owners-shoe-shit person.”

Everyone was staring even more intently now if possible, ignoring the constant talk that came from the speakers.

“Peter, who was following you?” Bucky says out loud, already taking his phone out. Peter curses under his breath.

“Some guy. I don’t know.” He prayed that the others would get the hint and not dwell into it further.

“Wade, why was someone following Peter?” Tony asked, voice steady but body language betraying his anger.

“Why, tincan, some creep customer. Honestly there are so many of those but most of them don’t bother following people home which is all kinds of good but this person decided to follow Pete is the point.”

Peter felt frozen. He should have ended the call. He should have told Wade to stop talking. But he felt frozen and everyone listened as Wade rambled on.

“I mean, I’m not totally going to blame him for following Petey, he is the best there is after all but it is just disgusting to try and stalk him after his shift. I think he even got there at the very start, which means he waited there like two and half hours before following him and that is just unacceptable, staring at some guy dancing for hours to an end when you don’t know them and then following them home. Actually that was a poor way to phrase that, ballet and other dancing things with long shows exist after all but it’s creepy to just wait one stripper's two and half hour shift and then follow him. But I should mention expectations since I’m not creep-”

Wade kept rambling on but no one was listening. The cat was out of the bag. Tony looked soulless. 

“Friday, end the call.”

Peter barely heard Cap saying anything, he was too focused on Tony.

“You work as a what now?”

So yeah, Wade Wilson is an asshole.

“Stripper.” Peter was surprised he managed to say anything.

“Huh. How long.” Tony was still using that steady voice which was worse than shouting in this case. Peter gulped.

“Four and half months.”

“FOUR AND HALF-” Tony’s shouting broke the silence like, hungry, person breaks wrapping of, burrito. Peter jumped up to defend himself when it became oblivious no one else would.

“It’s really not that big of a deal, everyone else knew!”

Now in hindsight it was really shitty of Peter to throw everyone else under the bus like that when he had been the one to beg them not to tell.

Tony’s eyes snapped from person to next as they stood up as well, most likely to defend themselves.

“Peter!”

“Everyone? I thought-”

“You knew?”   
  


“ _ You _ knew?!”

“Why did I not know?!”

“You knew Wanda?”

“I knew you knew but how did you know?!”

“Since when did you know?”

The shouting was becoming unbearable. Peter was contemplating leaving the room when Tony turned to face him again, nailing him to the floor with his stare.

“Why did you not tell me? Or work there in the first place for that matter?”

Think fast Peter.

“Yeah, it’s really not that big of a deal. A friend's acquaintance offered and it’s good money. And, it’s kinda fun? I’m also really good.” Tony was still staring. Peter was drenched in sweat. Think, Peter, think. “Just ask Rhodey, he can tell that I am good, I even gave him a lap dance.”

Everyone turned to look at Rhodey whose eyes widened in shock at Peter’s betrayal. Tony (and several others) began shouting again and Rhodey was forced to watch as Peter finally slipped out of the room without anyone noticing (save for Bucky and Natasha who both looked fairly amused about it), leaving Rhodey to deal with the shit storm.

In hindsight, that was really shitty of Peter. But oh well.


End file.
